0105; das leben fängt jetzt erst an

Endlich habe ich es wieder geschafft! 

Die Motivation diesen Blog weiter zuschreiben überkam mich vor einigen Tagen. Die Pause war nun wirklich lang genug und ich fühle mich schlecht deswegen. Durch Zufall habe ich mich an diesen Blog erinnert und als ich ihn mir ansah hat es mich wirklich glücklich gemacht. Nun möchte ich wirklich weiter schreiben. Einfach für mich. Nachvollziehen was ich so gemacht habe und was ich dabei gefühlt habe.

Mir ging es wirklich nicht gut. Viele verschiedene Gründe die mich bis ans Ende gebracht haben. Mir geht es besser. Nicht gut aber viel besser. Es hat sich einiges verändert. Das schmerzt und ist wunderschön (lol).

Ich habe meine Ausbildung zur dermatologischen Kosmetikerin und Wellnessberaterin letzten Herbst begonnen und es macht mir immer noch unglaublichen Spaß. Es war nie wirklich das, was ich machen wollte aber jetzt bin ich mehr als zufrieden, dass ich mir diesen Beruf ausgesucht habe. Als Zusatzausbildung habe ich im Februar ein Seminar zur Visagistin gemacht.

Meine gesamte Ausbildung mache ich an einer Kosmetik Fachschule in Essen. Das alles war mit großer Angst verbunden aufgrund meiner vorherigen Erfahrungen. Teils hat sich diese Angst bestätigt aber ich kann wirklich besser damit umgehen. Ich freue mich wirklich über diese wichtige Entscheidung.

Ich fühle das zum ersten mal in meinem Leben. Ich bin stolz. Es ist so ein schönes Gefühl 'etwas' zu können, das ist einfach unglaublich. Manchmal falle ich zurück in meine alten Gewohnheiten und das macht mir das ganze nicht gerade leicht, aber ich gebe weiterhin mein bestes und werde das zu 120% durchziehen!

Außerdem habe ich zwei wirklich unglaublich tolle Menschen kennen gelernt. Juli und Julia.

Beide habe ich im Internet über Dir en grey kennen gelernt hahahahaa

julia, ich, juli - im kyo hoodie ♥

a post i never finished... 

i still want to post it because it brings memories back. 

i will be running a new blog soon.

see you then!6

099; silver

hey gays, once again i didn't post a long long time. i don't even know anymore how to write in english. XD

this is a post which i wanted to make a long time ago already. it's about my try to get my hair silver. (it's so long ago that i don't even have this color anymore höhö)

this is how it looed in the end. it wasn't really what i wanted. i still want a darker silver but well i thought that this colour is pretty nice too.

so here is what i used:

 #l'oéal - silver shampoo - ~10€ # wella - color fresh silver ~10€

the silver shampoo was the first thing that i tried to get silver hair. i used this everytime i washed my hair and left it in for about 5 minutes. i'm really happy with the result. already after washing my hair with this once it got really grey. i bought it in any hairdresser shop but you get it in amazon as well.

color fresh silver is something like a hairdye (?). i don't really understand it but well it was worse than i thought. it made my hair light silver but i wanted a darker one.

i just didn't really find the right product yet.

in these pictures you can see how the color fresh stuff looked like on the hand and in the hair.

right: after               left: before

as you can see in the before-after is that it didn't really dye my hairline. :c

after all i'm really happy with the color and i wanna dye it silver soon again. 

i would recomment this stuff if you are trying to get a light silver but for a more intense color i would say just try something else. XD

i would like to try other products. it would be nice if you could recomment me some. :3

thank you for reading.

in love, sara

098; stuff i never talked about

hey hey ♡

okok i wasn't lazy all the time. in fact i'm never even at home. but still it feels like i'm not doing anything at all. i want to show you the stuff that i've been doing lately. and i will try to talk a bit about what happened. i know that i'm almost never writing anything interessting. but that's just because i'm afraid of talking about stuff too personal or just writing boring stuff. but i guess being boring is better than not saying anything at all :D so i will try..

i want to start with the reason why i'm actually never writing on my blog..

every week i go to different kind of doctors and that is kind of fucking me up. like it is just always the same but i'm still spending all my time in traveling from hospital to hospital or just waiting for going to the next one. in the waiting phase i have a lot of time but i'm so stressed that i can't even do anything for myself. i don't even know how i feel. i'm just sad and stressed since summer. maybe that's why i stopped writing my blog. 

but i know that this isn't the sense of having a blog. :D i really want to talk more about myself so you guys can actually 'get to know me'. i'm sure everybody is bored by my blog since it's just something like a picture diary for myself..

enough about the deep emo stuff XD

i finally got my nails to grow longer ;___;. since my nails are really soft it's is hard work to let them grow. they are so easily breaking. i tried a lot of things to make them stronger but i can't really help it. they keep breaking.. that's why i have short nails again now. :cccc when will my nails finally grow long and strong like normal nails? what ever i will keep trying!

creepy picture

here is some stuff which i bought/got in the last few months (? i'm not sure in which time i got these things.. i can't actually remember anything that ever happened in my life lol) the necklace and tea cup were presents by my friend carina ♥. since i got that tea cup to go i'm drinking 2 l/day.

the other stuff i bought at primark in essen. i'm so in love with the heels, bag and scarf. you can see me wearing these things in the upper pictures. 

this is menma (anohana). she is our new family member (lol). isn't she fucking cute? *-* vivien got her as a christmas present from a friend. but as long as i'm living in one room with her menma will be next to my pc. i'm such a lucky bitch ;_;

yes... i'm still sharing one room with vivien. sometimes it's kinda hard to never be alone. but we don't ever fight or anything. we have a lot of funny and happy times here and i'm glad to live with her. still i will be happy to have my own room when we move.. XD

many many times (everytime we meet) i've been eating outside with philipp. that's always kinda funny because i'm vegan so i always have meals with lots of vegetables. philipp food is always so anti-vegan as you can see in the photos. XD but i don't really mind. as long as i don't have to eat or spend money on it everything's fine.

 i hope you liked me writing more. it would be nice to know.. i still feel kind of stupid. XD

anyway, thank you for reading!

love, sara ♡

094; guess who's back... back again

oh yeah fuck bitches. i'm back in the hood. 

wie vllt manchen leuten aufgefallen ist, habe ich längere zeit nichts mehr gepostet. das liegt daran, dass ich in den letzten 3 monaten nicht zuhause war. ich möchte dazu auch eigentlich nicht mehr erklären. ich kann nur sagen, dass es jetzt weiter geht. :D
das erste bild oben fasst ganz gut zusammen, wie ich in letzter zeit aussehe. irgendwie verändert sich gerade alles. ok jetzt werde ich zu deep.

hoffen wir mal darauf, dass jetzt alles gut weiter geht.

gut, dass ich nicht viele rosane und lilane sachen habe. nur so alles. :D

093; new games and manga

helloooooo since i know that i will go *somewhere* next week i wanna update my blog about every shit... :D the other games arrived today so i wanna show them to you!

alice madness returns, devil may cry 4, saints row: the third

 here are the trailer for the games... REALLY FUCKING ALL OF THEM ARE PERFECT akjdghioaehioig ♥

at the moment we are trying alice and saints row i play already since a few days.... ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE FUCKING GOOD SO PLS BUY THEM AND BUY THEM AND PLAY THEM FOREVER LIKE WE DO JUST PLS ;;________;;

deadman wonderland 4, resident evil 1

i dunno what to think about a resident evil manga.... XD i mean i thought the idea is a bit weird but i must say it's looking fucking cool *^*

yeah this is how my bed is looking like at the moment .... :D LIKE WE FUCKING PLAY HERE AND STUFF hadvihsegv

ok here is any random older photo of my hair because i thought this post would be lil bit too boring without me ucuagevioveiv sounds weird BUT I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

today i'm really sad i don't even know why bbbbbbbuuuuttttt yeah so i dunno see you tomorrow or something

089; vegan brunch; about ib; some news

vivien and i went to the monthly vegan brunch in duisburg. it was pretty easy to find. as you can see there were lots of people D: and lots of food ;;;DDD i think i've never eaten that much in my whole life 8DDD everybody there was rly nice and lovely. we were the youngest around there but it was rly nice to see that there are many more vegans around duisburg. we're planning to go there every month. ♥

ok i know that nobody is rly interested in this but that's how my food looks like atm. i hope i will anytime fucking lose weight omg i can't wait

 (ignore the ice cream :--D)

and now some neeeews. vivien and i dyed our hair again. purple and pink ;_; aren't there colours fucking cute? T__T  but the real news are about something more serious. vivien is living at my place now. like yeah. she is like my sister now ;__; i won't explain why but i'm kinda happy about it .. ;_; i feel so much better since she is here with me. not that lonely anymore. it's always nice to have a friend around. ♥

i played the game IB twice. it's a computer pixel rpg whatever game. and srsly i love this shit. it's like the best thing in my life. i never played anything like that before but since IB i love them all. it's a horror survival game with many scary riddles. you can download it for free. i would link the page here if i'd remember it 8DDD but srsly everyone has to play it. it takes just about 2 hours but it's the best thing ever (XDD) ♥

ok and here again some random shopping photos~

mirai nikki 1; deadman wonderland 3; carnation pink - directions; violet - directions

vivien's and my shoes. h&m; 15euro

grave of a dead bird which we found in the garden ;_;

the best dog ever

the best weather in a long time

088; sweet sixteen

oh yes guys. finally i'm 16 years old. 8)))) ok not rly old but yea. sadly i just deleted all my pictures from my camera... D: i fucking hate myself for that ;;___;; but anyways it was rly lovely. here i will show you all the presents i got or bought for myself höhö. so here we go!

yeaaaaah finally i dyed my hair light pink. i wanted this like since 3984698213649823 million years and now finally i have it. i'm like so fucking happy ;__; it was easier than i thought! and my hair isn't even that dead. not worse than before. ;_; the first time in my life that i can say: i love my hair. ;_____;
aaaaand i got a belly button piercing!! like i fucking hate them. i think they are so gay but i dunno i just wanted one. :c my stepfather made it for me on my birthday on our sofa. XDD it was so weird and bloddy but alright. the reason why i got it is because my stepfather said he wouldn't make any other piercing.. and i thought ok it's for free so why not. XDD

k-on 01 . chobits 02 . no longer human . deadman wonderland 02

gta 4 . sims 3 . resident evil 5

gina tricot 10 euro

gina tricot 10 euro

monki 7 euro (bought from tiina)

primark - bag 10 euro . umbrella 5 euro

crazy factory - 6mm, 8mm, 10mm, 12mm - each under 1 euro

here are all the things i bought in the last time ;__; i love everything of it. the manga are just perfect and omg the gaaaammmeeesssss ;_____; the bestebettsbbebtsbtstbs ♥