0100; why do i even have this blog

Hey gays! ♥

Sorry, sorry, sorry again for not posting. I've been very busy during the last weeks/months. So I didn't really have neither the time nor the motivation to write anything about myself. 

Lately I've been pretty down and I'm not feeling very well. There are many important things about my future which are bothering me the whole time. A little time-out wouldn't be bad but it's quite impossible to leave the problems alone.

I can already tell you guys that I'll be moving out from home pretty soon. Nobody knows when it will happen but hopefully (very) soon. It could be this week or in 2 months.

On the other hand there is a lot stuff about school and job which is making me anxious. 

I have never been the person with lots of motivation or optimism but since 2013 I've lost almost all of these things. I don't really know where this is going and this insecurity is depressing me.

I don't know if this is too personal for a blog like this.. I just wanted to let you know.

But enough complaints! I want to show you a few things which I've done lately. :) As you can see in my pictures I wear pretty simple makeup lately. I don't really like seeing myself in this natural look. It doesn't really suit me but hopefully times will change and I will get new motivation to try and wear more makeup.

The following pictures will show you some things which I bought/got during the last weeks.

sony pastel pink headphones 

a new mobile phone - nexus 4 ♥

# valentines gift from my boyfriend # mac studio fix fluid nw10 # p2 sand style nailpolish # Lollipop Chainsaw from my boyfriend

Dita von Teese candlelight powder as an easter gift

backpack from ebay and louis vuitton bag from my mom

I really love all of these things. I wear my headphones everytime i go out. Nexus 4 is the best ever. Love my new makeup and powder, my new bags and ofcourse all the gift's I've got. Thank you so much! ♥

In the end are some more pictures of myself. There are quite many pictures i've taken... XD
Finally I dyed my hair pastel purple!♥ (It already faded away) juhuuuuuuuuuu

This time I wrote a lot about my life and I'm not really sure about doing this. I know that I asked about this in an other post already.. but do you think it's too personal to write personal themes on blogspot?

Thank you for reading my blog once again. I hope you enjoyed. ;_;

LOVE, SARA ♥

079; carina days

ok again i haven't written anything for years. and this time it seriously was my internet's fault. since weeks i didn't have it in my room. ;_; just upstairs, at my mom's pc. and it really sucks if your mom is as pc-addicted as you are. 8D

in the last two weeks i met carina a lot. nobody of my other friends had time... or maybe i just don't have friends lol. mostly we have been in dortmund. just chilling the whole day. eating like pigs... the normal stuff you know.

oh and i got this really cute purse from yuki. ;__; ♥ thanks a lot! she bought it for me on her korea trip. i really love it. i use it for my make up when i'm going anywhere. i was even going to buy something like this but i didn't find a cute one. so this was really the perfect present. thanks ;_;

we have been in the vegan café two times as you can see. it was so amazing. the food tased so damn good i wanted to die. XD really everybody who lives around should go there and try it. the best thing ever. seriously.

i also tried a lot of different milk substitute and soy puddings/yoghurts now since i'm vegan. i must say i didn't like many of them but a few. and i really feel a lot healthier. before i went vegan i thought that it's hard to find products that i can eat. but it's easier than i thought. i really think that this was the best decision in my life. ;;;DD

as you maybe noticed i tried something different with my hair. ok i know in fact it looks the same.. but i tried to show my sidecut a little bit more. carina and my family said they like it more than usually. but i'm not so sure about that..

# alverde compakt makeup - 010 light-beige

# alverde kompaktpuder - 010 naturelle

# alverde - augenbrauen-kit

this stuff i bought lately. i really like the make up. it has a very good coverage. the poweder isn't special. like everything else i've used before. D: and the eyebrow powder is really the best. before i used a really dark one. but this colour is my favorite lately.

066; forever lazyfish

well ok for a long time now i haven't done anything. i've been just in my bed whole day... watching some anime and getting really fat :)) sounds lovely, doesn't it? so well yeah i'm going to talk about my lazyfish weeks now...

it's just that since one week i have the best job in this world 8D i can just do whatever i want... for example nothing at all ♥

but yes i bought some stuff in the last weeks/months which i didn't show yet!

i got these pretty candles today ;_; they're from ikea.

.....already longer time ago that i bought that XD hm in fact it's just hair contitioner, hair water (dunno if that makes sense in english... i didn't even know it in german before 8D), night conditioner, hairspray, some hair stuff for after shower and some face creme. i must say i really love all of these products ;_; they're from alverde, balea and got2b. as you can see in fact,,, why am i saying this

oh well i guess i bought this here in december? XDDD a new make up from the body shop. it was quiet expensive D: 18euro if i remember right ... the make up i used before (can't even remember which) was around 10 euro i think... D: i don't like the smell of it that much... but actually it's very nice!

that banana shampoo, i dunno i thought it would be cool. but wtf. i srsly hate the smell and it isn't even so cool :c

oh well my kitty pullover i bought already months ago but never showed it here! i really really love it ;_; it's my favorite forever. it fits so well to my kitty bag ♥

and yeah a kitty brush cup and a kitty rubbish bin ... i'm so in love with kitties. i think that will never change XD

that tunnel i bought today. i payed 10 euro for that D: i could get it so much cheaper if i would order... but i dunno i didn't want to wait anymore... i was so bored of my other plugs :c

i really like this one♥

here is a .. random ... no-make-up picture with my little sister....

my sidecut is looking like a black hole in my head XD but yeah that's how i look like the last weeks. pretty clothes, cool hairstyle or makeup would be just a waste in this kind of days 8)

today i was really bored and so i started doing make up. but i just couldn't do it as well as i wanted :c i ended up removing one full side because it looked horrible. and now i can show the with and without make up effect. 8DDD

my eyebrow is looking so horrible in this photo XD ok irl it isn't pretty but doesn't look so.... reatarted like in this picture... 

i dunno i think this picture is funny just half retarded ;D

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oh well tomorrow i'm going to tinka's birthday party. so i think i will write soon again and won't be such a lazyass anymore 8)

ok i will stay like this forever.

055; a late merry clitoris

ok this is a little bit late ... but i hope everybody of you had a wonderful christmas! ♥

here are my presents!

# cranberry joy handcreme - the body shop
# cranberry joy lip balm - the body shop
# an amazing nail file!!! ;__;

this is what i got from my stepsister ;___; oh fuck this is so amazing T_T

and finally i got a really big make up case in light pink ♥ 

so perfect ;_; i spent like 3 days just with this case because i was so happy about it

i got this stuff from my mom,,,

# essence eyeshadow

# blush brush

#eyeshadow brush

# lip brush

047; my week

deniz is back in the hood! :---D

sorry that i've been too lazy to post anything in the last days. i was so busy with learning and cleaning up my room. the last thing took me 3 days. XD a lot of shit happened that week but i don't really like to write about it. 8)))

here you can enjoy my mustafa look number two ♥:

FUCK YEAH! XD

no srsly the idea to do this was fucking random and didn't have any reason. but at least it was funny XD

mustafa deniz going to parteeeey <33<3<3333

yeah so i haven't done anything. school is fucking me atm. but that's normal.

oh yes my mom bought the best thing ever for me ;_______________;

ISN'T THAT THE PRETTIEST AND COOLEST THING EVER???????? FUCK ME THIS IS A HOLY UNICORN CALENDER T____T

i will love you forever for this mommy

and yes i bought a few makeup things. nothing special. but i really fucking love that lipstick ;_; it's my favorite now!

oh yes this is my sister with and without makeup :----D srsly i thought this was so fucking scary because.... i dunno she is 9 years old atm and really looking like that. but when i put that makeup she suddenly looked like 15 ;___; i love her even tho i'm afraid that she is going to be prettier than me..

 

i've thought one week about buying this dress or not. it's fucking cute and i love it so much and it was really cheap. but i dunno i think it makes me look fat. ;_; but still i bought it.... and this cute belt ;_; i wanna wear these things tomorrow! ;_;

herpily derping with vivien at school. my fakesmile is horrible. :cc

this one isn't really better but hm.

and in the end a random picture of myself... 8)=))))))(/()))(()

040; my first circle lenses

ohai. a few days ago (i guess it was yesterday) vivien's any my circle lenses arrived.

we ordered geo supersize nudy grey. and i must say i really love this fucking colour. ;_; (excuse that dirt on my mousepad.)

it was so weird to put them in to my eye the first time. then looking at myself. 'fuck i'm looking like a fucking alien.' srsly i've never used any contact lenses and well.. that was just a really strange feeling.

on this picture they are looking so blue... but well yeah they are grey and pretty D: (sorry for that horrible picture)

on all the other photos they are just looking black. because my ipod camera isn't the best.

here. just looking like some black stuff chilling around in my eye. and my hair is looking so fucking dirty.

btw i must say it's hard to put it in.... and out also. i dunno i'm not used to this (and i think that's the reason why i feel weird by doing it) and so it fucking hurts. :---(((

ah yes well about my week... i'm an fucking lazy fuckerass and since a few weeks i'm not doing anything anymore but watching anime and playing any random mmorpg. vivien, carina and tinka aren't here atm and that means that i'm srsly forever alone. my holidays aren't really usefull if i'm doing just the same shit i'm doing in the school time already. but so yes i can't help it. DDD:

ah yes, i started to play grand fantasia. i randomly found this game anywhere and i thought ok why not. and so yes here we go. :---) i just fucking love this game because i can always see this nice pants whole time. ♥

028; my makeup

yesterday was such a horrible day.

i couldn't sleep almost whole night. so i was fucking tired. my nose was/is running whole day. and yesterday has been fucking hot.

this picture is from march (?) 2011. it was my daddy's wedding. that means in fact this photo is random. ::::DDD

but yeah. yesterday afternoon i went to shop with my mother. she bought me lil bit make up stuff because a few things were emtpy.

these eyelashes are really cute. i like them even more than my old ones. haha

yuki has got this blush also. i likes it very much and so i bought it. :--D

the gel eyeliner seems to me nice. i tried it yesterday night. i think it is lil bit harder but it's looking nice. ;_;

and this here is my full make up collection. :---)))

ok this is so boring...

today i will maybe go to my father's place. not sure yet. i already wanna buy some winter clothes. but well yes nothing's sure yet. i will now start watching anime and then i'll see what i'm gonna do today.